{"id":651,"date":"2014-09-11T17:36:00","date_gmt":"2014-09-11T17:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/?p=651"},"modified":"2017-12-02T19:15:42","modified_gmt":"2017-12-02T19:15:42","slug":"these-words-keep-following-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/these-words-keep-following-me\/","title":{"rendered":"These words keep following me."},"content":{"rendered":"

These words keep following me.<\/p>\n

Recently my sifu observed that I\u2019m trying to walk forward while holding on to a boulder with both hands. That boulder \u2026 \u201cis it fear?\u201d I asked. He confirmed, but \u2026 fear of what?<\/p>\n

This saying crops up a lot on pages that address narcissism \u2026 um \u2026 fallout. I\u2019ve been staying up late for days trolling such pages, trying to figure out why I feel so gutted, a little crazy, and mournful; let that suffice as explanation of my summer. I do not think Walter\u2019s up there pulling strings to see me (us) hook up with \u2026 that. But I felt so *led*. And then \u2026 I fell pretty hard. So I spent most of August extricating myself, but it hurt. Still hurts. Guess I was more vulnerable than I thought.<\/p>\n

Then, this last Saturday night, God says, \u201cI see you\u201d through a friend. And this week, in conversations with my cool friends Judit and Helena, I start to see where God might be pointing me now. I see recurring themes of open-ended ministry, and I see need. Then I arrive to kung fu last night to – surprise! I\u2019m leading basic class?! *terror* And Sifu Tristan coached me not on my fear of public speaking, or the fact that I\u2019m choreographically challenged, but my fear of leadership.<\/p>\n

Leadership: Like, the role you can\u2019t escape when your husband dies. Of course. And I\u2019m surrounded by the fallout of broken people raised by broken people who turned inward and embraced their brokenness, instead of turning outward and joining God in healing others\u2019 brokenness \u2014 essentially, leadership. But have I been embracing it? Well \u2026 not exactly.
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nSo, I ask Sifu Tristan this morning: Is it fear of leadership? \u201cHow about letting go?\u201d He answers.<\/p>\n

And wouldn\u2019t you know it: This morning at Thatcher\u2019s Coffee, Sheri says, \u201cLook!\u201d and here it is: \u201c\u2018What if I fall?\u2019 Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?\u201d<\/p>\n

And Sheri and I have this beautiful walk on the Vancouver waterfront, and talk about the recurring theme of letting go in scripture, and I tell her all the stuff that\u2019s been happening this past week. And it all falls into place.<\/p>\n

Helena says revival\u2019s happening all around us. Yeah, I think she\u2019s right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These words keep following me. Recently my sifu observed that I\u2019m trying to walk forward while holding on to a boulder with both hands. That boulder \u2026 \u201cis it fear?\u201d I asked. He confirmed, but \u2026 fear of what? This saying crops up a lot on pages that address narcissism \u2026 um \u2026 fallout. I\u2019ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=651"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1150,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions\/1150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narrowpathphoto.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}